Continued From Article Getting Over A BreakUp
8) Make A List and Check It Twice
Write down a list of reasons why your ex was wrong for you and add in his/her shortcoming as well. This is an emotional healing process. When writing this list be brutally honest and don't hold back! What this is doing is giving you a clear and accurate picture of your ex. You should look at this list to remind you of what you no longer have to deal with when you start missing him/her.
While you are making this list, write down the things your ex did good and bad and how did this make you feel. Highlight the feelings you never want to go through again. When you find yourself wanting to speak with your ex in a vulnerable lonely moment, don't reach for the phone, reach for the list.
Since you were brutally honest writing the list, the list will tell you what life with him/her was actually like and you will feel those pangs of loneliness to be with him/her dissipate. Ask yourself,"Why would you want to go through that hell again?" Remember, you deserve to be loved and treated well just like any other human being.
9) Throw Out The Trash
This breakup could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Taking out old things that you two collected is a great way to emotionally heal. You don't need things lying around the house reminding you of your ex.
Cleaning up your home or personal space is therapeutic and this will keep your mind occupied to think about more constructive things. While your cleaning your room, put up some new pictures and while on your computer, get rid of old photos. Believe it or not cleaning will help you to feel better and help to ease the pain.
10) Press The Delete Button
You will be amazed at the many things that will remind you of your ex, things like a song, a restaurant, or a certain aroma. You need to learn how to delete these painful memories once you have grieved over your breakup.
Subconsciously, there are things lying about that are memory triggers of your ex. Look for these memory triggers by going from room to room in your home and get rid of everything that reminds you of him/her that turns your stomach or breaks your heart all over again.
Don't just gloss over each room, go over it with a fine tooth comb. You do want to get over your ex, don't you? It could be a favorite mug in the kitchen cabinet that was your ex's. Or it could be an old razor that he left in the bathroom. When you see these things, you will either feel rage or heartache.
Once you clear your space of these memory triggers, you will notice a positive difference in how you feel. If he/she has given you something valuable such as a necklace or a watch, don't throw it away especially if it gives you fond memories. But put it in a drawer for now out of sight until you can look at without emotionally breaking down.
11) Focus On Other Things
There is more to life than being in a relationship. You can catch up on what has been happening with family and friends, begin reading again, or even take a class you have been putting off. Even though you are not in a relationship right now, you can still enjoy life being single. This shows you and your ex that you can enjoy life without him/her.
12) Don't Set and Watch Grass Grow
Stay active by getting out there and meet new people by joining a gym or the book of the month club. Exercising elevates your mood and refocuses your attention. Take a spinning or yoga class at the gym or just go walking with a friend or by yourself. Here are some motivation tips to get you in the mood to exercise:
Start off slow for now When you show up to the gym, start off by doing 30 minutes on a recumbent bike or while you are walking, just walk around the block once. This is not so bad is it? Once you start doing this, you will eventually want to do more.
Once you get off of the recumbent bike, you'll might want to walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill or if you decide to walk, you might decide to walk three blocks instead of one. Before you know it, exercising will become a healthy habit you will enjoy.
13) Evict Negative Emotions
Although it feels easier to do this, harboring hatred, regret, and anger against somenone is no benefit to you. Although the relationship ended on a sour note or maybe it didn't, you two had some good times together and you may have learned a thing or two from your ex.
14) Reread The List
Return to that list I told you to make in guideline #8. Review what turned you off with your ex. While you are rereading what his/her weak points were, you will eventually find your ex less and less attractive. This will help you to get over the breakup.
I am not telling you to "hate on" your ex but you really need to have it mentally sink in why this person is not a perfect match for you. For example maybe your ex was cheap and never wanted to spend any money on you.
Or, maybe he/she was an atheist and you did not share his/her beliefs. Or, your ex cheated on you multiple times. Getting over a breakup is never easy but if you take it one day at a time and put these guidelines into good use, you will be Ok.
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