Getting Over A Breakup

I will give you 14 guidelines to getting over a breakup. These valuable tips will help you keep your sanity and mend your broken heart.

 

1) Analyze why you broke up but don't obsess over it.
Mulling over the reason why you broke up is one good way of healing emotionally as long as it isn't overdone. Ask yourself, what led up or caused the breakup? There is probably more than one reason why you two broke up. You should know what they are.

Sometimes relationships weren't meant to last but while you had time with each other, you enjoyed it. You two drifted apart because one or the both of your priorities shifted and what was important to you then is no longer significant now. It is better to breakup now, then to end up in a crummy 15 or 20 year marriage and go through a bitter divorce.

Knowing why you broke up is the first step in getting over a breakup. Reflecting on what went wrong in this relationship will help you not to make the same mistakes in your next relationship. For instance, if you were too jealous, or too possessive, or unfaithful, you know these behaviors can ruin a relationship.

2) Stick To You Guns
If it was you who ended the relationship, thinking about the good o'l days may cloud your judgement into thinking you've made the wrong decision. But you must not let the good times of the past allow you to forget what caused you two to breakup. 

If he broke up with you, don't second-guess his decision. Deep down, you probably know it was for the best especially if he/she wasn't treating you the way you deserved to be treated.

When you start reminiscing about all the good times you had with him or her, you might start to convince yourself that he/she wasn't that bad after all and you could live with the bad aspects of the relationship. 

Or you maybe thinking if my ex just knew how I felt about him/her, he/she would want to get back together. It is not wise to venture into this type of thinking. Accept your new marital status and emotionally move on.

3) Maintain Your Distance
Even if your breakup was a clean and amicable one, you can remain friends but it is wise to take some time apart right after you two end your relationship. Allow me to elaborate, when I mean no contact immediately after a breakup, 

I mean don't send any e-mails, don't contact his/her family, don't hit him/her up on Facebook, do not phone him/her or text him/her, and no letters in the mail. This is not permanent of course. Do not contact him/her until you are ready to see him/her as friends only with no other motives in mind to rekindle your relationship.

If your ex wants to see you again, what would be the point in doing this if he/she or the both of you agreed that you should no longer see each other. If you see one another too soon, you might wind up getting caught up in the moment and do God knows what and making it harder on yourselves to let each other be.

I understand you will have to communicate to your ex especially if there are children involved, pets you have adopted, or moving out and getting the rest of your belongings. But these meetings should be kept to a minimum. In other words, do what you need to do and part company for now.

4) Deal With Your Pain Responsibly

If you know you are the one who messed things up in this relationship, this is Ok. Accepting responsibility for your actions is a good thing. It shows signs of maturity. However, don't beat yourself up too bad. We are all human and we make mistakes. Denial is another important emotion that you will experience but accepting what happened and why with your relationship will help you to emotionally move on.

5) The Hate Phase
Sometimes you will get the urge to lash out and scream especially if you know you gave it your all in this relationship. This anger stems from how bad the breakup was, what led up to it, and how long it took you two to do the inevitable.

You are angry because you feel that you have given your good bread to a dog. You just wished you could have broken it off sooner to save yourself some time, heartache, and money. Some of this anger will be projected at yourself, but you must quickly get rid of this feeling!

You are wasting precious energy and time over something you cannot change. And to be honest, if this was a bad relationship, you have wasted enough time and energy on this person.  Replacing love with hate for your ex is never a good thing because it fosters the need to get revenge and this can land you in a whole lot of trouble.

6) Get Your Friends Involved
Get your friends involved in helping you get over this breakup with your ex. Your friends love you and will remind you of all the great things about you. They will help boost your self-confidence. When you have a strong network of empathetic, supportive, and understanding family and friends, you will be able to cope with your breakup and regain your emotional bearings.

7) Writing Can Be Therapeutic
Get yourself a diary and get all of your emotions out and don't worry about using proper grammar. This journal is for your eyes only. This is the time where you can be brutally honest with yourself of what is going on. 

While you are writing, do not edit or cross out anything, just keep writing. When you see your actual thoughts out on paper, you will be surprised at what you are able to see what you could not before.

You will see patterns of certain behaviors of why you choose the persons you date. Life lessons that other people have been trying to teach you will become clearer. Don't think of this as a failed relationship. 

Even though it did not work out with your ex, you have learned a valuable lesson about yourself. Obviously, this person wasn't the one and the right one is on his/her way. Your ex just moved aside to make way for your true love for life.

Continued On Next Page

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Knowing how to get your ex girlfriend back can sometimes be difficult if you had an on again off again relationship and/or when you broke up it was unpleasant. Before I reveal to you how to get your her back, there are a few things I need for you to consider before making that move.

You want to be certain you won't make the same mistakes twice that lead to your break up in the first place. You don't want to get back into a relationship again to break up again.

Before thinking about getting back with your ex, I need you to think about the considerations below to be sure that the decision you want to make is the right one, repairing your relationship.

Why Did You Breakup In The First Place?
Before you even think about rekindling a relationship with her, remember why you broke up in the first place. Did she cheat on you? Was she a chronic liar? Did she have ugly disgusting habits that just grossed you out?

In a quiet place, ask yourself why and then honestly answer the question. Whatever your initial response is, this is how you truly feel about the break up. If you broke up for some ridiculous frivolous reason, then maybe you should give your relationship another go.

When asking yourself a question like this, you must be absolutely honest with yourself. Don't play the blame game. If the fault lies with you admit it. If it was her fault, you need to decide if this relationship is truly worth fighting for.

If it was your fault for the break up and you really want her back, you need to change whatever behavior is damaging your relationship. Also before you approach her for a reconciliation, deal with your emotions first. Don't approach her in an angry or accusative mood. Deal with your emotions first, then approach her for a reconciliation.

Accept That the Relationship Is Over
Once you know why you two broke up, you have to deal with that and work through the hurt you feel. If you have heard the saying, “the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else." This is 100% FALSE! You won't be able to emotionally move on until you have dealt with the fact that you and your ex are truly over.

This will keep you from making the same mistakes over and over again. It will also help you heal emotionally from a break up of someone you deeply cared about and allow her to move on with her life.

To properly heal emotionally after a break up means to accept that you and your ex girlfriend will no longer be a couple. Use this time while you are single to know what lead to the demise of your relationship so that it won't happen again.

Why Do You Want To Get Back Together With Her?

This is a very important question. Do you want to get back with her because she was good in bed, or do you want to get back with her because she was pretty and you made your friends jealous with her on your arm? If you really did not truly love or care about her, then it is best to move on and find that special someone you can truly love and care for.

Whatever reason you have for getting back with your girlfriend, make sure you think about it thoroughly and be sure you include her feelings as well as your own as you make your decision. Mulling over this whole break up issue will save the both of you more heartache and pain if getting back together is not the right decision.

Communicate With Each Other
Talking and listening to each other are the two most important things you two can do for one another when considering getting back together. This talking and listening exercise will help to iron out some differences you have as well as cement some likes and dislikes you both share.

When you are talking to her, don't talk to her in an accusative tone, don't yell at her or pick a fight. This will only make matters worse. Let her say what she has to say and just sit and listen, do not interrupt. You'll be amazed what this will do for your relationship.

How you two handle this non-confrontational discussion could be the deciding factor if you two will have a future together or not.

Get Your Ex Back

 Knowing how to get your ex back may not be an easy thing to do if your relationship was rocky and the break up was messy. Regardless if you are married or not, a relationship break up can be extremely difficult on your emotional and mental health, especially more so, if you both have children together.
 
But luck is on your side, and I will give you a few tips on what you can do to get your ex back into your good graces again. These simple methods have worked in the past to put families back together again.

If you have broken off your relationship with your ex or you are separated from your spouse, fear not your decision is not a done deal. You can still save your relationship!

Follow these simple guidelines to win back the love of your life and your reason for breathing.
 
Give Yourself A New Look
When men and women get comfortable in their relationships, they tend to let themselves go. They no longer try as hard to maintain an attractive appearance. One good way to get your ex back is to remind him or her what they are missing and they can't get it anywhere else.

You can do this by getting in shape physically, try a new cosmetic, get a new hairdo, and buy some nice outfits. Wear clothes that you know your ex loves to see you in. In other words, put a new coat of wax on the old Chevy!

When you begin to work out and wear some different new clothes, your self-confidence will get a boost and you will get the attention you seek from your ex. Getting yourself cleaned up and taking some pride in your appearance tells your ex that what she or he thinks of you is important and that his or her opinions matter enough for you to make a change.

Jog Your Ex's Memory
This is a good way to let your ex know why he or she fell for you in the first place. This is another good way to get your ex back. If you two were always on the go and you did exciting things while you were in the early stages of dating, surprise him or her with a week-end vacation and visit some of your old haunts to bring some happy memories back.

A week-end vacation gives the two of you a change of scenery and before you know it, you will be talking about how fun it was when you two first began dating. You never know, you guys might get back together that week-end.

Surprises Can Be Good
Do something unexpected for your ex that he or she would not expect you to do but he or she would want you to do.  For instance, if he or she has been wanting you to engage in an activity like going to a sports game with him or sending her flowers at work, do it unexpectedly.

This will help prove to your ex that you are willing to put his or her wants first and do whatever it takes to win his or her heart back again. This also shows that you are willing to make the effort to change, to make it worth his or her wile to give you another chance. Remember, if this method works, you have to be willing to change permanently; not just to get him or her back and return to your old habits.

Make a Promise
To help seal the deal again, promise your ex that things will be different if he or she takes you back. This will also greatly improve the likelihood that you two will have a future together. You should make an honest effort in making these changes you promised. Doesn't your ex deserve the best you have to offer?

If your efforts are not sincere to get your ex back, you face the consequence of breaking up again and permanently ruining your relationship. Before you implement the above suggestions, make sure you want your ex back for all the right reasons so that your efforts won't be in vain.